The Rules of Downer Day
- Take a downer (or anything that helps you relax and forget about your problems). The phrase "ignorance is bliss" means if you do not know about something, you do not worry about it. This is roughly translated to Dumb people are happier, hence rule number 1.
- Stay put. Once you take your downer, you cannot leave the location you are at. Your Downer Day location should be somewhere you can comfortably lounge around and/or sleep all day (e.g. bedroom, living room sofa, by the pool). You want to be as lazy as possible and limit physical movement. Remember, you want to give your body a break and allow it to recover.
- No productivity. Downer Day is a lazy day. Avoid all stress-inducing activities. No work. No emails. No errands. No chores. Maybe play The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars on repeat to remind yourself.
- Get every single meal delivered. Postmates, UberEats, and GrubHub exist for a reason. Use them. Cooking meals is considered a productive task. It is not allowed.
- Eat everything. Eat to your heart's content, and then some more! Calories do not exist on Downer Day. Remember, it's YOUR day. Do what makes you happy. IMPORTANT: Wear elastic waist pants to maximize food intake and overall Downer Day fun and comfort.
- Mindless activities only. Any activity that requires a significant amount of thought is not allowed. You want to relieve your brain of all stress. Downer Day is the perfect day for a movie marathon, TV show binge, or any other activity that requires very little brain function. This will reboot your brain and help enhance its performance for the upcoming week.
- Happy Downer Day! Downer Day is about escaping reality and all the problems that come with it. It gives you the chance to hit the pause button on life for a moment, and allows you to live free of all the responsibilities that come with being a productive member of society. Happy Downer Day! You earned it.
- Post Downer Day. The morning after Downer Day, you will feel like a complete waste of life, and get an overwhelming urge to make up for it. That urge will fill you up with the adrenaline and determination you need to fuel your journey back to the real world. Your drive will be unstoppable and lead you to a more productive and happier life.